You can't blend in, if you are born to stand out!

I am writing this as my daughter turns two tomorrow… Seems like yesterday that I held her for the first time in my arms… wrapped in a pink blanket, those brownish hazelish eyes kept looking here and there as if they were searching for something. It felt like she was trying to find her home, her newly found parents. Those long feeding sessions, morning/evening massage routines, taking cues from her actions to understand her needs are still fresh in my mind. Those were the most strenuous yet joyful days of my life, the feeling of being a mother is incomparable to any other feeling on this planet. I still cant understand from where did I get energy to all of that, sometimes with a smile, sometimes with a frown on my face.

We have had our many moments together ---- when I rejoined work for the first time after my baby turned 6 months, it was the toughest time for me to get this thought straight that she can be happy and be taken care off even without me.

I am sure my baby was more confident of finding her way through without me. The next important milestone was when she started going to the playschool and day care; she started pretty early, when she was all of 19 months. And now, here she is, a smart, confident, witty, cheerful young 2 year old girl.

Over these 2 years, Like every parent having read multiple parenting books, blogs and write-ups, I have invested a lot of time to understand the true nourishment requirement of babies at this stage and beyond. How much should they sleep, how much they should eat, how much fluids should they drink, how many times should they pee, Milestones to reach at every age group. I was also very particular about following a routine for my baby, keeping count of the nutrition that went in, water intake, keeping her away from digital age. I have done all of that, I was insane to an extreme of following all of the ideal scenarios in my daughter's daily routine.

But then… One day, a few months back… I gave a lot of thought to all of this. All these ideal parenting thoughts and guides… I was loosing on one very important aspect of this entire process - I thought I was taking my daughter as a project, I was loosing on all peripheral aspects of her growing up... which goes far beyond right food, fluid and controlling the digital time. It is that organic connection that has to be built and nurtured between a parent and the baby. I know many of you would say that it comes naturally, yes, I agree, but it has to be nourished, it has to be given enough time, space and effort to take shape of a strong relationship which is not bounded by age and genetics. Like every other relationship, this one also evolves with time. This doesn’t start to take shape when the kid is 4-5 or 6, it starts right at the moment, this pure soul touches our lives.

This has more deeper repercussions than what has been stated above. The child's understanding of relations, love and society starts to build up and take shape by seeing her parents first, her close family next and then when her full fledge social interaction begins by going to school, making new friends etc etc. It is here that we are developing a child's personality, a child's character. I am sure this deserves equal time and attention from us.

I understand that as parents some of us would say this is a gradual, ongoing process and should be like that only. I also agree, I am not saying that one should have a moral science class for the baby every day, but just being extra observant, extra careful in noticing the cues from the actions of our kids will help us correct the wrong or take necessary measures or tell the kid in the next incident giving example of the previous incident… or whatever is suiting best for your kid, as you know him/her better..I can very confidently make one point - There are common Core goals behind each parenting ideology, however the way in which each of us new parents want our child to learn and imbibe them is different. 

Cheers to 2 years of being parents to an awesome girl who I love insanely!!

Every story has a Hero…

It needs some courage, experience on the planet and some whacky ideas to believe that each one of us is writing our own story here. We might be side actors in somebody else’s story, but for our very own life – We choose the flow of the story and we are the Protagonist to drive it!

It might sound a little philosophical but true it is… stories are different, characters are different, choices are different – Purpose is different. My purpose of doing the same old job would be very different from my colleague. If everything is so different, what is the point of comparison?

Live life like it comes only once (well, it actually does), be happy, spread happiness and most important be true to yourself. Rest all which we accumulate is the side product J J

Like they say … Its your Life, Make it Large 

(Point to note here is that Large also is a perspective ;-P)

Entertainment… It is

With a big multi starrer movie releasing on a festival, it is bound to create hype amongst the audience who are referred to fans or movie buffs. On one hand, the most recent Shahrukh Khan release “Happy New Year” is set to create new box office records with its grand collections. On other end, the film is being criticized as mindless, thoughtless and baseless output. Ironic, ain’t it?

So, the question that keeps coming to me is are we seriously entertainment deprived and don’t have options? Well, both yes and no. It strikes to me in a country of 125 crore people where more than 75% are struggling to fulfil the basic necessities of life, movies are a source of unwinding for them. The mass audience here has to make so much sense out of the daily life; they don’t come to a theatre to wrack their heads on director’s take on a social issue or witness highest order creativity. Films like these transfer the audience to a virtual beautiful world, generate a sense of hope and gives them a larger than life experience.

Talking about the collections, INR 300 Crore is the latest obsession of all the movie analysts and industry experts. Taking an average ticket size of INR 80 (Considering single screens and tier 4-5 towns), we need 3.75 crore people to get us to that figure. We are only expecting 0.03% population to come and see our movie to generate an amount that we are going ga ga about. However, a multi starrer movie recovers all its money even before it releases, through the distribution rights and in film advertisements. So, the money that we contribute in the form of tickets is a bonus for them.

Considering the so called intellectual well made movies which are high on both creative illustration and technical details like screenplay, cinematography and direction. What happens to them at box office is a completely different story – A Wednesday, Guzaarish, Soundtrack, Aamir, Listen Amaya are to name a few.

So, like any other business, the movie makers are producing where they see the money will come in automatically. So, how much ever we criticize these brainless releases, they are the ones who are bringing smiles on the faces of our fellow countrymen. Mass entertainers as we call them… they are in literal sense.

So if “ Kehte hain humko pyaar se India waale…” gets you grooving…Yenjoy and rest assured as it is not taking away your creative quotient or art quotient as they call it.

Wo shaam ki Chai…

“Chai bana lein”, “Shaam ko chai pe milte hain”, “pehle chai to banane do, fir uthenge”, “Bhaiya ek chai dena” have been most commonly heard phrases if you have grown up in India. The occasion can be anything, chai (tea) brings people together, it is a reason for the family to come close and share some good moments. It adds to the value of the rain droplets touching the dried mud, resonating a familiar fragrance in the air. It gives us company while we enjoy the scenery outside on a long train journey. It is such an integral part of our lives which comes in the form of a fresh five minute break from work or gives company in an intense discussion on life with parents. Chai has always been there as a friend, companion and buddy.

Reminded of my childhood days, I used to look forward to evening 5:00 pm when mom used to enter kitchen again after an afternoon nap. Though I never used to get my own cup then, the feeling that everyone present at home at that time are going to sit together, chat over multiple things with this chai cup holding them like a fevicol bond cannot be expressed easily. The feeling of achievement which comes when you as a 7 year old are able to dip your Parle G in mom’s cup can easily be compared to winning a race. Many won’t agree but I used to adjust my playing time accordingly.

Chai holds a special place in my life as all the important gyaan I gained during discussions over tea still guides me through life somehow. I had my first self-owned cup of tea when I was 15, it was a proud moment. To a teenager in me, it gave a feeling of being included in the grown-ups. Trust me, nothing is more valuable than being considered as equal then. It was different during these years of growing up for me. We had shifted to Mumbai and did not have a big family which will come together during tea time. It is now that I realized that I have started looking forward to the post dinner chai which we had with Geeta aunty, my mom’s best friend who was also our next door neighbour. It was now that I was not only a mute listener but also a part of the discussion. I saw myself making some valuable points (at least I thought so) in that 15 minute chat session. The relaxation that a hot cup of chai offers after a long day at work is incomparable. Chai to me is about relations, values, thoughts, ideas, bonding and spreading happiness.

A lot has changed since then – places, friends, priorities, life and I as a person. However, one thing which still holds a special place is that Chai ka cup… Cheers to that!

Confessions of a wandering mind…

It is not easy to be living with a mind which doesn’t know what it wants out of the small halt on this beautiful planet.  It has been said more than once that Life is all about the choices that you make. There are so many beautiful things on this planet waiting to be explored, but in a short lifespan like ours with so many constraints playing their role, there will always be things which are left behind. It is all about deciding what one is determined to get and what one is happy to let go.

“Let go”, I say is the mantra to a contended life. Most of us on this planet are living somebody else’s life, the day we are brave enough to live our own life will mark the difference. It will help us overcome our fears to choose a path which we want to travel while we complete this beautiful journey. When in doubt, take a pause for a few moments, see the direction where your life is moving and if you think this will take you closer to your main goal, Move along.

Let go a few dreams, aspirations, people, experiences, moments to make way for those which really matter to you and should travel along in this journey of yours..

Sensing the senses

If you can sense it, you can live it…

What felt like a normal day, gave us one of the most extra ordinary experiences so far. Who would have thought that a visit to a crowded mall in the middle of the city has a memorable event in store for us. What we thought would give us some dark light lunch, gave us many thoughtful questions to take along.

Food being served in complete darkness by waiters who themselves cannot see anything. The thrill that is being experienced when you can’t judge the food by the presentation. The novel experience of imagining the stuff that has been served to you. The joy of eating with hands coz one can only get it right if felt. The feeling that the other senses have become stronger, the lunch table conversation after a very long time was limited to food as we struggled to have it. As our eyes struggled we could hear even the minute whispering in the room. The sense of touching a known hand gave a feeling of comfort and security.

Now, extrapolating the same situation for a lifetime, there are no thoughts that cross my mind currently. There is a struggle involved in the basic chores of life for these visually impaired.  There are many things which appear normal to us, might be one of the toughest jobs for them. This experience of having a dialogue in the dark, made me understand some unknown facets of life. Also, there is a hell lot of difference between empathy and sympathy!!

happy you, happy me :)

There are some people in our lives who hold a special place in our hearts... In such a bonding, distances and time have a little lesser role to play... This is to celebrate the most important event in the life of one of my special person...

And there she is taking the most important step of her life... Though I could not be present there with you to cherish the big moment... But trust me not a single moment went without thinking of the same :)

Straight from the heart, I wish you and siddharth a super happy, fun filled and romaantik life ahead... Loads of love and hugs coming your way :-) :-)