Itz been an year ....

The candidate enters the campus gates with the dreams of turning into a "participant" ... for which there are many well framed answers to the most frequently asked questions in any general management school PI... the answers r those which hve already been written n cross verified by those already in d field... loong list of questions n loong loong answers...

d same process followed around 3 years bck fr d admissions to a "well known institute of rural management in western India" ... i was also one of them ...the statements which follow aftr this are not to point out anyone abt anythng (each one is free to mke choices) but just a thought which came to me...

Why dis institute? "one question, mostly asked to all d aspirants..."

The answer to which for almost 50% of the aspirants would be plain n simple.. 'coz no other better option !!!

but the answer given tkes the interviewer to a higher level of thinkin... some filosophies.. many fundas..i was thinkin bout this since my birth and wat not...

So, where do u see yrself after this institute...? another question .. which follows shortly after..

The answer to this is also plain n simple ... an organisation which gives me money...whatever it is !!! development or not development... hw wud i kne .. u hvent tken me in as yet !!!

but to this also thr is a well framed sofisticated answer which would link to "rural" in more than one way...my eyes go blind beyond development... corporate (omg sir, i really dnt understnd d meaning of the word)...

the start to a 2 year journey is based on "hypocrisy" and "pretentions" for many of the aspirants... 'coz thr is a hidden fear in all of us...

the fear of accepting yrself the way u are... in the process, we usually pretend to our ownselves to such an extent tht we forget our real self and strt tkng the pretention as real...

i still cannot relate to the answer given to tht question sum 3 years bck... i still cannot relate to myself... but m trying... hopefully one day i will keep my word...

Missin Randomness ...

hmm... (i hv never understood y most of my posts strt wid a hmm..) anyways...tht shudnt b a concern... almost 10 mnths after irma...in my 2nd job...stayng in a two room small apartment wid a frend...getn up at 6:20 daily... hve to leave home at 7:20 sharp..(if its 7:21, it means m late fr d cab).. reach office at 8:10.. thr till 5:30.. reach home at 6:20... doin nothin gr8..."So wAT !!!" (d Big Question Which Prof AG n Prof DPM emphasized durin d MAC classes)... evryone does d same.. evryone has to wrk... Wats new in dis... nothing... thts wat d point m trying to mke here.. thts nothing new in wat m doing...d only difference in my previous job n dis one is... atleast i hve a hope of gettin sumthng better - a better project - some challenges + i dnt hve d guilt of wasting an entire day over 2 cups of coffee !!

Wat is it which would give me tht inner momentum... tht zeal...i dnt know.. or may b i kne... i kne it has to do wid sumthng where results can b seen.. sum wrk which actually makes atleast one face smile...atleast one life better...leaves atleast one mind wid questions to think over... is it sumthng too much m askin fr... but hvng said all tht.. it doesnt mean tht i want a life full of troubles n challenges... i want a Happy life... but here, d point to b stressed upon is d way u define Happiness...

i miss d randomness in my life... i hate dis fixed routine...dis scheduled living... where d thoughts abt house rent, electricity bill, grocery, education loan, future plannin r more prominent than a simple happy life... if m writin this.. d reason behind all this routine is also me... noone else is responsible... its d fear within me which is leading me to this... d fear of uncertainity.. d fear of randomness...

d irony is "m afraid of wat m missin d most in my life... Randomness".....

From “Sumthing got lost” to “I lost it”…

This would have been happening since time immemorial. People meet, spend some nice time together, priorities change, choose different directions and they move apart. What’s d big deal in this!!! This is how life is… It teaches us lessons in its own manner… simple lessons easy to preach yet so difficult to follow in ones own life…

There are standards which every person sets for himself, to which he abides by during his tenure on dis planet. The situations which are objectionable to him are mostly “these set standards + 1”, but one question which has emerged in my mind off late is why they should be considered obnoxious; probably they are the “set standards” of some other individual. Like u have, even others have this democratic right to set standards and moralize the world accordingly.

From “Sumthing got lost” to “I lost it”…we have covered a long long distance. In this journey, we have met many people, some distant some still close. From childhood excitement to teen age flashes to being an Adult, we have gained and lost many things. The cost benefit statement of life would better show the net gain/loss in the dealings of past 24 years.

Since when have we not thought about how people around would think about me if I do this or that? Since when have we moved out without having more than 20-30 rs in the pocket? Since when have we asked for the pocket money from our parents? Since when did we feel the need of taking a break and going for a vacation when life itself used to be a vacation? Since when have we wandered aimlessly on roads? Since when have we heard birds chirping and water flowing? Since when have we called sumone just to say…”hi” …

Lost in this big big world of bondages, set systems, rules, moral lessons… lets unlearn some of our set paradigms…lets think about ppl who made us wat v are 2day…lets remember all those names who hve brought us dis far…coz "u" wudn’t have been "u" & "me" wudn’t have been "me"… if "they" were not there… 

Let’s relive dese moments today; so that we don’t totally agree to dese lyrics of 3 idiots which say … “I wanna grow up once again…”