Wandering near SmiLes …

“Concentrate and learn, I will come and ask each question once again in half an hour”, haven’t we all heard these lines coming from our parents many times in our school days. We have always been shown a path which has been followed by many others before us and has shown them success in their respective fields. What if we do not want to follow the same well build path, what if we want to create one for ourselves, what if we do not measure success on the parameters decided by others, what if our perspective to look and asses success is different. There are many “what ifs”, and too little answers. The lack of answers is because of the lack of options that our parents had then to offer us, lack of the risk taking appetite that we had then as a result of the limited resources.

As we move ahead in our lives, many things which appeared too complex in childhood start looking simpler, many things which were too simple then, start becoming complex. We have too often been told by our parents, relatives, teachers to have a focussed mind and concentrate on the task that is at hand and considered most important at that point in time. No doubt on the importance of having a focused approach, but I am sure there would be so many like me who think of 200 other things when they are doing one particular task.

I started my working life by being a feature writer for a website; I totally loved the work with respect to its basic nature. However, writing for somebody else doesn’t give you a total freedom and need to abide to the rules of the style of writing, content that should go in and the manner that entire write up needs to be framed. So, even the job whose work I loved to the core brought some limitations with itself. I then moved on to work in an apex banking institution, an insurance company and a non-profit firm, each of them offered a totally different kind of experience with respect to the work culture and the very basic nature of the work. They also brought along certain not so favourable aspects along which led to my wandering mind to become active and explore something else. Now, that I work in a social sector consulting firm, there are still many aspects which remain unanswered and uncovered. I have come to a conclusion that job is and will remain to be a love-hate relationship, you can stay on with an organisation if you love the work, and no matter how much you hate the place, culture… in the end it’s the work that gets you there.

I sometimes feel too many experiences limit our mind to wander and think beyond. The power of a wandering mind is often ignored and undermined. These are the thoughts which free us from our pre conceived notions and help us go ahead of the self or society made boundaries. They are the ones which teach us to imagine, discover or create. It helps us to create our own rights and wrongs, make our own mistakes and write our own stories. Many major inventions that we enjoy today are a result of a wandering, questioning minds which always had a habit of attaching a “why” to anything that is brought forward.

In the back of our minds, most of us know what is that one thing which will bring us closer to ourselves. One, which truly defines our self and gives us the most happiness and satisfaction. In the course of our lives, we need to move closer to self by finding out the medium to do that. Somebody could come closer to self by indulging in Dance, for some it might be travel, for others it might be getting promotions at work and a good salary raise. Each one has his own means of happiness; we can be truly happy if we stop finding our happiness by the mediums made by others, rather discover and follow our own medium to reach the same.

Let’s keep our wandering mind awake to help us search our medium to happiness, which is the sole reason for our survival. 

A Journey to the roots...

It was already 2:30 pm when I reach crowded, jam packed New Delhi station. Railway stations in India are a scene in itself, with overflowing people, almost more than 100 times the station’s capacity, many eateries and mobile stalls for tea and pakodas, beggars trying their luck on the passengers, people sleeping with their bed sheets put on the floor and on top of this many stray dogs feeding on the left over litter.  “On which platform is Aashram Express,” I asked with my lungs craving for oxygen. “Platform no 3 madam, train is already there”, the bookstall owner replied. There was no chance I could have missed the train, had to reach Ahmedabad the next morning for an interview in a grass root organisation whose work I really liked. I rushed towards the platform, checked the reservation list, my ticket was still not confirmed and there was almost no hope of getting a seat on the way. After a lot of negotiation with the TC, I finally got on the train hoping of some last minute cancellations.

The train started, it has to pass through Rajasthan crossing cities like Jaipur, Abu before it reaches Ahmedabad next morning at 7:30 am. It was early July, rains were approaching, adding a very pleasant feel to the weather. After an hour of cribbing and struggling for reservation, I gave up and started to concentrate on my book, observe the fellow passengers, outside view and the snacks and tea that were being sold on and off. The scenic outskirts and the breeze that kept hitting my face took me to a different world where I could not hear the noise from the crowded background. The muddy smell coming from outside reminded me of first rain drop hitting the dry land. It was quite unlike my earlier train journeys which were covered in the four walls of an AC compartment and a book in hand as a company for the entire travel time. Absolutely no talking or moving out of the train.

The train obviously was overcrowded, but thankfully we had nobody sitting on the floor. In my compartment, there was a Muslim family, a father, mother and three daughters travelling together along with two toddlers. There was lots of gossip, food and serious discussions they were engrossed in. Probably, they were going to see a guy for their youngest daughter. The discussion roamed around jewellery, guest list, venue, catering, clothes they they have to buy and matching it up with the expectations of the groom’s family. Then the discussion went to the expenses and dowry read gifts the guy’s family was expecting. “It is my duty, I have to make them happy so that they keep my daughter happy,” he said in a low tone looking at his daughter. The look on the father’s face revealed much more than what was discussed verbally. These conversations raised many questions in my mind which made me go back to issues which I presumed existed in an India of 1980s, not 2013. I could not understand who is to be blamed for a regressive custom like this to prevail in a society where we talk about inclusive growth and sustainable development, whatever that means.

I was distracted of these thoughts by a tea vendor who just crossed by and the family stopped him.  Out of courtesy, they also asked me if I would like to have some tea, to which I replied affirmative being an avid tea lover. The tea tasted much better than many other times I have had tea in train, it had a flavour of black pepper clubbed with cinnamon and the light rains were making it a moment of a lifetime. Then, my attention went to another family which was also accommodated in the same compartment; probably they also did not get a confirmed reservation like me. A young couple with a two year old kid, travelling to their home town to meet their parents. During our conversations, I found that they do not stay in Delhi but in Bihar and have already been travelling for more than 24 hours now. It was already 8:30 pm now and the family was supposed to occupy full seats for sleeping. The husband and wife got up with their kid and started moving towards the door, wife turned and asked, “You also do not have seat right and you also don’t seem to be having a bed sheet to be used to sit on the floor, why don’t you come with us?” I seemed to have no better option as the TC also had not shown his face since past four hours. I followed the couple leaving the family behind at comfort with all the space for them to sleep peacefully.

They spread the bed sheet in the space near the washrooms adjacent to the compartment doors and offered me to sit. I sat resting my back on the door which was closed. After an hour of silence, we started talking. She asked about my background and was amazed that I had a husband and still was travelling alone. She was amazed that I was married and did not have a bangle or vermilion on my forehead as a mark of married women. She gave me advice on why not to leave husbands alone with the in laws (Did not even try to understand any part of it). Her questions then moved to the curiosities on things which we consider as basics of our lives. How does it feel to be sleeping with an AC on? How does the AC compartment of the train look like? Does an airplane actually fly? Do we actually have stairs which move on their own? Her dreams focussed around her kid who was happily and freely sleeping in her lap. Though I answered her questions in detail, my mind was left with many questions whose answers I am still searching. I was go engrossed in my internal questions that I did not realize how entire night went sitting and we had reached our destination at 7:15 am. I thanked them for taking care of me when I had no idea of travelling without a reservation and wished them well. After an hour, sitting in a Mc Donalds near my interview venue, having my morning coffee, wondering the disparity that exists and value that we assign to people. 

Sometimes life teaches a lot through small experiences. These few hours of train travel made to closer to the roots and changed my perspective of basics in life…Well… Cheers to Indian Railways for making it possible for me!

Here I am!!

So here I am.. back after more than 3 years break... sitting in some corner of the world and thinking almost "n" things at a time... Gathering some more insights from this beautiful journey!!
I just realised that i haven't written since 2010, well i got married that year and life has been reaaaally busy since then...huh!!

So,now that I am back and alive... will keep posting new stories in this one small scribble corner of mine... watch out!!