I am writing this as my daughter turns two
tomorrow… Seems like yesterday that I held her for the first time in my arms…
wrapped in a pink blanket, those brownish hazelish eyes kept looking here and
there as if they were searching for something. It felt like she was trying to
find her home, her newly found parents. Those long feeding sessions,
morning/evening massage routines, taking cues from her actions to understand
her needs are still fresh in my mind. Those were the most strenuous yet joyful
days of my life, the feeling of being a mother is incomparable to any other
feeling on this planet. I still cant understand from where did I get energy to
all of that, sometimes with a smile, sometimes with a frown on my face.
We have had our many moments together ----
when I rejoined work for the first time after my baby turned 6 months, it was
the toughest time for me to get this thought straight that she can be happy and
be taken care off even without me.
I am sure my baby was more confident of
finding her way through without me. The next important milestone was when she
started going to the playschool and day care; she started pretty early, when
she was all of 19 months. And now, here she is, a smart, confident, witty,
cheerful young 2 year old girl.
Over these 2 years, Like every parent
having read multiple parenting books, blogs and write-ups, I have invested a
lot of time to understand the true nourishment requirement of babies at this
stage and beyond. How much should they sleep, how much they should eat, how
much fluids should they drink, how many times should they pee, Milestones to
reach at every age group. I was also very particular about following a routine
for my baby, keeping count of the nutrition that went in, water intake, keeping
her away from digital age. I have done all of that, I was insane to an extreme
of following all of the ideal scenarios in my daughter's daily routine.
But then… One day, a few months back… I
gave a lot of thought to all of this. All these ideal parenting thoughts and
guides… I was loosing on one very important aspect of this entire process - I
thought I was taking my daughter as a project, I was loosing on all peripheral
aspects of her growing up... which goes far beyond right food, fluid and
controlling the digital time. It is that organic connection that has to be
built and nurtured between a parent and the baby. I know many of you would say
that it comes naturally, yes, I agree, but it has to be nourished, it has to be
given enough time, space and effort to take shape of a strong relationship
which is not bounded by age and genetics. Like every other relationship, this
one also evolves with time. This doesn’t start to take shape when the kid is
4-5 or 6, it starts right at the moment, this pure soul touches our lives.
This has more deeper repercussions than
what has been stated above. The child's understanding of relations, love and
society starts to build up and take shape by seeing her parents first, her
close family next and then when her full fledge social interaction begins by
going to school, making new friends etc etc. It is here that we are developing
a child's personality, a child's character. I am sure this deserves equal time
and attention from us.
I understand that as parents some of us
would say this is a gradual, ongoing process and should be like that only. I
also agree, I am not saying that one should have a moral science class for the
baby every day, but just being extra observant, extra careful in noticing the
cues from the actions of our kids will help us correct the wrong or take
necessary measures or tell the kid in the next incident giving example of the
previous incident… or whatever is suiting best for your kid, as you know
him/her better..I can very confidently make one point - There are common Core
goals behind each parenting ideology, however the way in which each of us new
parents want our child to learn and imbibe them is different.
Cheers to 2 years of being parents to an
awesome girl who I love insanely!!
